Katrina's Blogosphere

Confessions of a Newbie Nudist #1

2012-02-13T10:56:00.000-05:00

The truth is that I specifically chose the resort "Breezes" in Negril, Jamaica because it had a "clothing optional" beach. Call it something on my bucket list - some strange exhibitionist desire - some rebellion against "the Man"? Whatever, at some point in my life, I was going to attend some kind of nudist resort. And here was my chance!

Truthfully, my husband Wayne had his doubts - and so did I!! The first day that we were at the resort was a write-off due to travelling anyway, but we would sneak by the corridor that led to the "clothing optional" area and take the odd peak in - saw a bit of skin...just enough to make us nervous.

On Day Two, after a "few" rum punches, we packed our bag (with what you ask? SUNSCREEN!!!!) and headed over!! As we rounded the corner that led between the buildings, suddenly there they were!! Naked bodies everywhere (excuse my 10-year-old-ness here... just telling the facts!)!! Tall naked bodies drinking beer at the bar, naked bodies sitting by the hot tub, naked bodies walking along the beach... Honestly, it's not that I mind seeing nakedness - I actually like it... But my brain had never quite seen SO MUCH!! It was kind of blowing my mind.

So, we tried not to look at anyone and hurried through the bar/pool/hottub area to find a secluded place on the beach where we could be inconspicuous. (??) So, we found our chaise lounges, laid out our towels, looked at each other with a kind of shared fear, took a mutual deep breath and took our clothes off and laid down.

So, we'd done it. We were now officially naked on a beach with a whole pile of strangers. My mind was absolutely reeling - with what? Who knows? With every shred of self-consciousness I had ever felt in my life. As a naturally shy person, this was blowing my mind. So, I closed my eyes and just tried to enjoy the wonderful feeling of sun on skin... Aaahhh...

Just as I was totally relaxed, I looked up to see a fully clothed waiter standing over me with those beautiful, relaxed Jamaican smiles asking me if I wanted a drink. "No, I'm fine"... And another of my brain cells popped - how could I talk to people who worked there who were fully clothed while I was totally naked? Bloody hell!!

It's funny how being on the beach actually turned into a Buddhist Koan for me. In Buddhism, students are given sayings called koans that will hopefully cause their brains to disengage long enough to let them experience true reality. Well, every moment that I spent on that beach fully disengaged my brain. It is impossible to describe the effect on my mind except that my normal rational mind simply couldn't make sense of it - and so my brain truly went on vacation as well!!

Stay tuned for more stories from "the beach"!!

Finding Meaningful Work - Or Not?

2011-05-17T11:19:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking about the number of people I know who have been laid off from work and are struggling to find meaningful employment. We want something that fits our passions and joys - something that really makes us want to get up and get out there each day.

But what if 're looking too hard? What if there is work all around us.. but it's up to us to make it meaningful?

I'm all about finding your ideal job that perfectly matches your gifts and strengths. This is the ideal situation. But what if that job isn't out there right now? What if you can't make enough money at your passion to pay the bills? What then?

The funny thing is that there are dangers to making your job the compilation of your passions. We love the idea of taking what you love to do and spending all day working at it and making money - "being paid to do what you love" - it's the big dream. But this puts tremendous pressure on your passions. Suddenly you can't do the things that you love to do with the same carefree joy and creativity because you always have to be considering "Will they buy it?", "Is it consumable to the public?", "Is it good enough?", etc. Often, the focus of putting food on the table completely squelches the creative process that we enjoy about it in the first place.

So what do we do? Do we just get any old job and make the best of it?

Perhaps the answer is YES.

We often focus on the external aspects of our lives and work. We look at the people around us, where we live, where we work, who our relatives are, what our education is, how much money we have, etc. But what if the most interesting thing going on is actually deep inside of us? What if it is the inner journey that is the most exciting regardless of what is going on on the outside?

What if we brought our personality, joy and sense of abundance to ANY job that we had. What if those things were what we were growing and working on each moment of our day? Suddenly it wouldn't matter whether we were driving a taxi cab, teaching grade 6, or being a rocket scientist. We would still be bringing OURSELVES to each moment of the job. We would still be finding joy (or not) in each new experience.

Regardless of where we work, our experience is simply OUR experience. The actual job has very little to do with how much we enjoy it. Whether we want to enjoy it is what defines our experience of it. It's all up to us.

This is the problem with always trying to find the PERFECT job. Underlying this goal is the belief that "once we find the perfect job, we will be happy." This statement is just as false as "Once I find the right man, I will be happy" and "Once I have a child, I will be happy", or the infamous "Once I lose 30 pounds, I will be happy." None of these statements are true. And their belief will lead you down a perpetual road of always longing for things to be different.

Being happy is a state of being. Being happy is a choice.

I'm always entertained by the stories of sages who work at menial jobs. They always have a sparkle of youth and joy in their eyes - like they know something that we don't - like they are a little entertained by the idea that we think that we will find happiness somewhere outside of ourselves - that we think that what we do for a living matters SO MUCH...

Being happy doesn't come from finding the perfect job. It comes from choosing to be entertained by whatever life throws at us. Could be drama, could be hard work, could be a low paycheque. Or it could be learning, growth, and great friendships.

What we do with it is entirely up to us. :)

Intuition

2011-04-03T17:56:00.000-04:00

What is intuition anyway?

Intuition is a new way to navigate through this world.

We have been trained that we can use our brains and intellect to find our ideal path - that we can study the options, find the optimal one and be confident in the desired outcome. We do this in how we act in marriage, raising kids, work, and every aspect of our lives. Our brains rule. We trust the "facts", the numbers, and the analysis.

The problem is that the real world isn't like that. We cannot guarantee our outcomes no matter how much research and intelligence that we apply to the problem

The Scientific Side

(feel free to skip this section if the idea makes your eyes roll back in your head)

Modern sciences distinguish between linear and non-linear systems. A bridge or a car tend to be linear systems - we know all of the pieces, how they work, how they interact and what the purposes are of each piece and function. We can analyse the situation, dissect it, figure it out, and find the ideal solution. It's all very possible, reasonable and intelligent.

Non-linear systems are things like weather and ecosystems. We can observe what we can. But in reality, there are so many variables - some we can observe and others that we haven't even seen yet - that we can't begin to predict what would happen at any time (this is actually quite a lengthy discussion that I thoroughly enjoy having that might get added to this website one day).

Using logic and intelligence with non-linear systems doesn't work because we don't know or understand all of the variables and the causal agents.

Human beings are non-linear systems.

Explanation for Mortals:

Our physical bodies are so phenomenally complex, that we can't pretend to understand how they all work, let alone the infinitely complex interplay between all of the moving parts. Then there is our mind filled with ideas, ideals, thoughts, fears, emotions, dreams, wonder, and so much more. How do they all interact? Then there is spirit? How does that work and how does it affect all of these other things.

Then let's look at our relationships - marriage, children, parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, & neighbours (close and far). There's our jobs, finances, life-long dreams, challenges,...

How can we possibly know the effect that any decision that we make could have on ALL of these things?

The truth is that we can't. The ripple effect of all of our decisions is infinite and impossible to know. This is where intuition comes in.

Our Actual Navigation System:

We weren't meant to navigate using our brains. The reality is that the smarter we are, the more impossible it is to use our brains to make decisions because we can see both sides. The dafter we are, the easier it is. But once you can see both sides, how do you make a choice.

We have to navigate through an inner guidance system. Some call it intuition, divine guidance, gut instincts, the "little voice", our Highest Self, Inner Wisdom, and the whispers of our soul. I call it all of these things.

In order to trust this inner wisdom, you must believe that it comes from something that understand the "whole". Science says that we consciously use less than 5% of our brain. Perhaps that inner guidance system has access to 100%. Spiritually, maybe it is directly hooked into a general consciousness that understands the big picture. Or maybe it's our direct link to God - and the whisperings are our answered prayers - guidance from the "Big Guy/Gal".

Regardless of what we imagine it is or where it comes from, I went through an experience that I wrote about in my book "What If You Could Skip the Cancer?" which required me to turn off my brain and follow that inner voice. I had to listen to guidance from somewhere else - somewhere other than where I'd been listening up until that point. The result was a miraculous healing and the beginning of a new way of seeing the world and navigating through it.

I can tell you of a thousand seredipitous events, continuous miracles appearing in my life - in big ways and very small ways. When I live this way, I never know what's coming, and life is amazingly entertaining!!

The only way to know this is to try it. My experience won't help anyone unless it inspires them to try it on their own.

This is why I love teaching about intuition. It's such a juicy way to live. I love counselling individuals and teaching it to groups. It is a cornerstone of yoga and meditation because it is intrinsically part of how humans are naturally meant to operate in a peaceful, calm, and joyful way.

(I am in the midst of revamping my website. I will posting various things like this that will go on my site one day soon.)

Growing Younger Every Day

2010-08-11T09:46:00.000-04:00

What if our bodies don’t have to break down as we age? What if this is just an idea that society has because that is what we tend to see happen? But what if it isn't the way it has to be? What if we can become physically stronger, fitter, and healthier with each coming year?

I completed my first triathlon last weekend in Bala, Ontario. Yay!!! It was a 750m swim, 30km bike ride and 7.5km run. I started training in January when my sisters and I (insipired by the Biggest Loser TV show) decided that we should each work towards doing this triathlon. Since none of us are athletic in any way, this was a huge stretch - but a good one.

One of the most inspiring things about the triathlon was the ages of the people competing. There were a few teenagers and twenty-somethings. But mostly, we were 30,40, 50-years old and even quite a few in their sixties! I know this specifically because they write your age on your calf in magic marker and being a relatively non-athletic type, many people passed me in the race - I had lots of chances to see the backs of people’s legs!! (I actually finished last in the race - but finish I did!!).

Later, after the race was over, I was looking at my stats online - how long it took for the swim, the bike, etc. And I thought to myself, "Well, I can do better than that. If I just do this and that, I can definitely shave some time off there." And suddenly this triathlon thing became a yearly goal. I thought to myself, "What if I don't have to become a triathlete in one year? What if I can gradually get better each year?"

But this goes against everything that we've ever learned! Once we’re “over the hill”, our bodies are supposed to get worse each year, not better. People gain a few pounds each year. We don't become fitter. This is against North American-culture!!

But the funny thing is that I expect all other aspects of myself to improve with age. Mentally, I expect myself to become smarter and wiser. There's no greater teacher than life experience. If we're paying attention, wisdom is the direction we're heading.

We should become more emotionally intelligent each year. We should be able to understand and be compassionate in more situations. We should be able to be honest with ourselves and others easier every year.

Spiritually, I expect to become more intuitive. We should be more peaceful and connected to the world around us. We should hear guidance and trust the callings that come to us. With each year, this should become easier to do.

So why wouldn't we expect the same from our physical bodies? Why wouldn't we expect to become fitter each year? If we’re overweight, why wouldn't we expect to lose a few pounds each year - improving all of the time? Why wouldn't we be more tuned in to what our bodies need nutritionally? Why wouldn't our bodies continue to get better with age?

The problem is that our beliefs about aging can be self-fulfilling prophecies. We have a belief that we die because our bodies break down. But what if we die because it’s just our time? What if we can be totally healthy until the end?

There's a story about a lady that they call "The Iron Nun" who competes in triathlons. She's 80 years old this year and is still doing IronMan Triathlons - 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride and a 26-mile run. She's 80!!

I like it. I like the idea of improving each year - of getting better with age in every way!! And so, I am going to do a little experiment with the universe. I'm going to test the theory. What if I could improve every year? What if growing older can mean growing better. I'm going to give it a go.

Care to join me?

The Newbie Triathletes post-race- Cori, Wayne, and me

2010: A Year of (Im)Possibilities

2010-01-02T21:44:00.000-05:00

There are things that we believe that we could never do - things that deep down we believe are impossibilities.

But what if they aren’t impossible? What if you really could find a job that you loved? What if you could be really healthy? What if you could heal the rift between you and your spouse/child/parent/friend/neighbour? What if you could actually be slim and trim? What if you could do anything that you put your mind to?

Well, this year, I have decided to do something that previously I would have believed impossible.

I am going to participate in a Triathlon in July 2010!!

I don’t know how it happened. But somehow over the holidays, my sisters and I decided that the three of us would do a Triathlon.

What makes this so impossible, you ask? Well, none of us are athletes. In fact, we’re quite a long way from athletic. We’re more the “sitting-on-the-couch-with-a-cup-of-tea-solving-the-world’s-problems” types. Athletic? Absolutely not!

In fairness, all three of us are pretty decent swimmers. We can all get on a bike (if we can find one) and ride it. We are all capable of walking. But running? Biking for any great distance? Those are things that deep down, we truly believed were absolute impossibilities.

But then came the show, “The Biggest Loser”. On the surface, it’s a reality TV show about a bunch of very obese people losing weight. But there is so much more going on. It has totally turned my brain inside out. I just love it.

Why you ask? Because it breaks through the beliefs that limit all of us in our lives every day. As the on-screen trainers push the contestants in their workouts, the common cry is, “I CAN’T! I CAN’T DO IT ANY MORE”. And the reply is always, “Yes you can. You can do anything that you put your mind to!”

Many of these contestants have good reason to believe that this isn’t true. Many had very painful, difficult childhoods. Some had traumatic events that they couldn’t get over. Others just couldn’t handle the day-to-day pressures of marriage, kids, and paying the bills. These are very common situations – common situations that can leave us believing that there are many things that we can’t do – that we are out of control in our lives – that giving up is a reasonable reaction based on the crazy world we live in.

But then you see these people have breakthroughs. They start to get to the bottom of their emotional and mental blocks. They start to believe that they CAN do anything that they put their mind to - and you start to see the pounds drop off. You start to see their outlook changing. They start to shift from victims to victors. The weight loss is secondary to the phenomenal inner healing that happens. (Did I mention how much I love this show?)

So what does this have to do with me doing a triathlon?

Well, this season the final contestants had to complete a marathon near the end of the show – a mere 16 weeks after they started!! Some of these people started out over 450 pounds!! And many of them were still 300+ pounds when they did the marathon!!

We would normally believe this to be impossible. This just doesn’t happen. Only skinny “runner-types” do marathons!! We know this to be true. The rest of us CAN’T run marathons, right? We are sure that this is true.

So to watch these people complete the race just turns our brains inside out! And to see the joy and the victory and the immense feeling of satisfaction that they had after the race!! Such a gift to us!!

Why is it a gift? Because we got to watch someone break through the belief that they couldn’t do something. We got to watch the same feelings of inadequacies and lack of control in their lives as we struggle with all of the time. And they changed those feelings and beliefs. They now know that they really can do anything that they put their mind to – that there are no such things as impossibilities!!! Imagine!

And so, as we begin 2010, let’s ponder our impossibilities? What are the things in our lives that we’d love to have or to change but deep down, we don’t believe are possible?

Let’s challenge those beliefs. Let’s imagine that nothing is impossible.

Hey, if I can do a triathlon, anything’s possible!

The Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine

2009-10-11T20:11:00.001-04:00

I had a wonderful chat with a lady named Beverly Vote last week. She stumbled upon my website looking for something else, found out about my book, sent me an email, I sent her a book, she really liked it, and we made contact last week.

It turns out that Beverly is the publisher of "Breast Cancer Wellness" magazine. It is a free magazine (alas, only available in print in the States) but is available for free download at: www.breastcancerwellness.org.

The mission of her magazine is "to empower breast cancer healing journeys with education, inspiration, and encouragement using
mind-body-spirit and whole-being wellness principles."

She said that my book just blew her hair back!!! She said that it was just what she had been looking for to help her to make some interesting steps in the future of her magazine. She even said that on the previous day, she told one of her sales reps that if everyone would just read my book, then she wouldn't even need the magazine!!! How cool is that??

We had a lovely conversation where I found out that Bernie Siegel (who gave the endorsement on my book's front cover) sits on her advisory board. Olivia Newton John was on their last magazine's cover and is apparently a really lovely, down-to-earth woman!!

We talked for nearly two hours about how we can work together going forward. We aren't sure yet. But it will come to us. It is very exciting.

The funny this is that although I teach, give seminars, and do many very social things, a large part of me is actually quite introverted. The selling of the book is hard for me. I don't want to convince people to buy it. (I don't want to convince people of anything, really) I just want people to have the book and be able to read it so that it can either speak to them or not.

So, the idea that Beverly was totally moved and inspired by my book and would like to take it places just makes my introverted heart so thrilled. And the fact that she has such wonderful connections as Bernie Siegel, Olivia Newton John, and her other phenomenal networks in the cancer world, just blows me away!!

I don't know where this will take us. But I'm sure that it will be wonderful!!

Katrina

The Joys of Doing Something Badly

2009-10-08T07:53:00.004-04:00

So what would you like to try that’s new? What have you always wanted to do, but just never got around to it? What has that little voice been asking for that you’ve been ignoring up until this point?

What about writing poetry, or playing basketball, or dancing, or art. What about learning a new language or playing the violin?

Whatever it is, my recommendation is to do it—but don’t try to be good at it. Who has time for that? My advice is to get out there and do whatever it is – and do it badly!

Here’s a true story. A couple of years ago, a friend of mine came over to my house and saw that I had a guitar.

“Hey, can I play your guitar?” she asked.

“Sure. I didn’t know that you played.”

“Oh, yes. I’ve been playing badly for years.”

It probably took me about ten minutes to figure out what she had said. She’s played badly for years? What was she talking about? I knew all of the words that she had used in the sentence. But put together, the sentence just didn’t make any sense.

The problem is that we seldom do anything that we aren’t good at. We are taught from an early age that only those who are good at things actually get to play. We learn in school that only the best athletes actually play on the sports teams. The rest of us watch and cheer them on.

Only the best singers get to sing in the choir. The rest of us watch and enjoy the music. Only the smart kids go on the debate teams, take part in spelling bees, and take funky tests named after famous Mathematicians. And the rest of us… well we don’t watch, cheer or enjoy… (Being smart isn’t quite so glamorous!)

Eventually we learn that if we aren’t good at it then we don’t do it. So as life goes on and we get jobs, families, and other responsibilities, we find our free time quickly consumed with watching TV – continuing our pattern of watching other people do things!!

But is that any fun? What happened to the fun in life? When do we get to do things just for kicks? Why do we have to be good at things in order to do them?

We aren’t being graded anymore. Our team doesn’t have to win the championship! Us not being fantastic at something has absolutely no effect on anything or anyone at all. So what’s our problem?

When I first saw the motion picture “Mamma Mia”, I was shocked at who they picked for actors and actresses – not because of their acting abilities – but because they had to sing—a lot!! And most of the actors simply weren’t great singers. But sing they did!!

The funny thing is that now we own the movie and do you know which parts I love the most? The less-than-fantastic singing!! Pierce Brosnan belts out his songs with this Bruce-Springsteen-meets-Clint-Eastwood kind of voice. But he puts so much passion and heart into it, that his songs are some of my favourite parts of the show.

And the whole movie is like that. Is the choreography great? Not really. It’s kind of quirky and strange – but the dancers are having so much fun, that you just have to watch it over and over again. It’s so quirky and that we can relate to it.

Our society suffers from a serious fun deficiency. There is so much pressure to achieve and be the best that, in the end, only kids are allowed to have any fun. But we can change that. We can start doing things that we love without having the pressure of having to be good at them.

We can choose to play basketball with our kids even though we were the ones on the debate team. We can play the guitar because we like the way it sounds, not because we have dreams of sounding like Santana. We can take a painting class because we love the colours and the way the brush feels as it flows over the canvas without any plans of fame or recognition.

We can take some sage advice from Ms. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus. “Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!!”

It’s time to have some fun!

(This column was first published in the Goderich Signal Star in March, 2009)

The Joys of the Six O’Clock News

2009-09-29T22:09:00.003-04:00

I don’t normally watch the news.

It was probably twenty years ago that I decided that a daily update of the number of homicides, rapes and car accidents in Toronto just didn’t seem to be adding much to my life. My opinion of the Six O’clock News became quite cynical. I felt it was “too sensational”. It seemed like they only reported the bad stuff and therefore, we were given an overly negative, inaccurate and incomplete portrayal of what was going on in the world.

And so, my news updates have tended to consist of whatever I hear in the car on my way to work in the morning and that has been fine with me.

But a few weeks ago, I was at my dad’s place and the Six O’Clock News appeared before my eyes. As I watched stories of the men who drowned in Toronto and the young boy who was killed in a drive-by shooting and the solders who had been killed overseas, a great new realization hit me: “Thank God this is what they’re reporting on the Six o’clock news!!”

How lucky are we that we live in a country where we still think that someone being killed is newsworthy? There are many places in the world where people of all ages are killed every day and it is simply considered a part of life.

There was a clip about the rescue attempts of a man in Toronto who had been fishing and fell into the river. Divers worked all day trying to find him. Paramedics were on hand in the hopes that they found him alive. In the end, they just worked hard to find the body so that there could be a proper burial. How many places in the world wouldn’t or couldn’t go to such lengths for a single man’s life?

There were stories of assault, robbery, illegal drug operations, car accidents and violence in the schools. In a world that we are led to believe is going down the tubes, that these things are still newsworthy says that they still shock and upset us. This is a good sign.

And what about the traffic? Lots of news about commuters stuck in traffic jams each morning and evening. Terrible, eh? Just think of all these industrious people in their cars going to and from their jobs each day making a living so that they can raise families, pay taxes and have financial independence. Hmm, not the worst problem to have to deal with.

And think of the great lengths we go to in order to find missing children. And what about all the magazines covered with stories about Brittany Spears and whether or not she is a fit mother for her two little boys? Is it ridiculous and sensational to follow around this poor woman with binoculars and dissect her life with a microscope? Yes. But the fact that her fitness for motherhood is so phenomenally newsworthy, tells us that as a society, we still believe that the welfare of children is important.

And then we get to hear about relationships like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. We hear about their fights (real or not), their break-ups (true or not) and their angry ex-girlfriends (angry or not). Apparently we find couples having issues worth reading about. Or maybe we just like that fact that extremely beautiful, successful people have the same problems that we do. In the end, the fact remains that we still think that relationships matter. Otherwise, no one would care. The general public would just say, “Oh, just break up already and spend your life alone. It’s better that way!”. But we don’t. We want the relationships to work. We want people to be happy. This is a good thing.

It would seem that watching the Six O’clock News shows us that, as a society, we still believe that being good to others, caring for our children, education, peace-keeping, relationships, working hard, and preserving life is important to us.

I think that this is a good sign.

(This column was originally published in the Goderich Signal Star in September, 2008)

How To Look Good Naked

2009-09-25T09:58:00.004-04:00

We hear a lot about the importance of self-confidence. We want it for ourselves and we want to give it to our kids.

It’s a great idea that makes sense, but how important is it really? How much of an impact does it really have on our lives? And if we don’t have it, how do we get it?

A while ago, I watched the coolest show called How to Look Good Naked. (For those of you with satellite or cable, this show might not be new news. But to me with my 3 channels at home, watching this at a friend’s house was a real kick!)

When I saw that this show was coming up, I immediately assumed that it was about liposuction, breast implants and cellulite creams. (This seems to be the way of things these days.)

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t about changing how the woman looked physically at all. It was about changing how she felt about herself on the inside. Sure, they gave her a new haircut and put professional makeup on her, but that’s not the part of us that we’re worried about when we’re naked!!

What they showed her was that she was much more attractive to other people than she thought. They put pictures of her body in a bra and underwear on billboards and then videotaped the responses of complete strangers. The women just broke down when they heard things like “she looks great”, “she looks like a real woman”, “she’s got curves in all the right places”, etc.

After years of conditioning that the only thing that is attractive is Barbie-type proportions and “Nivea-smooth skin”, the idea that our aging, post-baby, less-than-firm bodies might be attractive is absolutely shocking to the point of upsetting!!

The next part of the show found our friend in her bra and undies heading into a room where six women were lined up – also in their bra and undies. These ladies were all kinds of sizes. They weighed anywhere from 150 lbs to 250 lbs. And they looked fabulous!!

The point of this exercise was to show our heroine how inaccurate her self-image was. She specifically did not like her hips. So, our ladies were all lined up in order of hip size. Our friend had to insert herself into the line where she believed she fit – by hip size. After inserting herself between two ladies who were much bigger than she was, she was absolutely shocked to find out what her actual measurements looked like on other people.

I thought this exercise was fascinating. But it wasn’t what really knocked me out. What really got me was how beautiful and attractive all of the women were! Most of them were what you would consider to be quite overweight – not bikini-material for sure. And yet as they stood there in nothing but their bra and underwear, they were absolutely striking!

But do you know what they had? Confidence and self-esteem. You could see it in their faces. You could see it in their posture. They stood tall with their one leg slightly bent like a model. They smiled and were happy to be there.

The truth is, that you couldn’t really “see” their “imperfections”. When you looked at them, all you saw was how beautiful and fantastic they were. This was very confusing to me. (One of those brain-melting experiences…)

We have been very well-trained that our appearance is all about our physical bodies. We believe that what other people see first and foremost is our bodies! But it isn’t true. We send out other things long before anyone sees our physical bodies.

People sense our confidence. They sense our happiness or sadness. What they notice the most about us is how we feel about us! Our physical bodies just add some colour.

This phenomenon has always confused me. There are people in my life who I have always thought of as being very attractive. But when you actually look at them physically, there is nothing particularly striking about their appearance. But there is a confidence or a kindness or a “something” about them that actually stores itself in my mind first. And that is what I remember about them. Their actual physical looks are completely secondary.

I have found that about myself. There are days that I am not feeling great about things and I’ll go to all lengths to “make myself up” – the hair, the make-up, the clothes – and the first thing someone says to me is, “Are you feeling alright today? You look a little down.”

Or then there are the days where I am feeling fantastic and on top of the world. It’s a lurk-at-home day and so I have chosen to hang about unshowered and in my grubbies. But then of course I have to slip into town for something. So off I go in my grubs to grab something from Zehrs.

So here’s me with crazy bed-head (I have a lot of curly hair), a bit of make-up smeared under one eye, ratty track pants and socks in my sandals and the first person that I see (who unfortunately recognizes me) says “Hey, how’re you doin’? You look fantastic! Have you lost weight?”

Again with the brain-melting!

The truth is that we are so much greater than our bodies. Society and the media like to focus on it because all they have is TV projections and magazine ads. All they have is two dimensions to work with and so the physical element is it for them.

But this is not our actual reality. What we see in the flesh is not really the flesh at all. The flesh is just there for colour. What people really see is who we are on the inside. If you love who you are, then other people will love who you are.

Whether you are attractive or not has nothing to do with how you think you look to other people. It is all about how you feel about yourself. And because this is just a mindset, it is the easiest to change. You don’t have to diet and exercise. You don’t have to try to look good for other people.

All you have to do is change your mind.

(This was first published in the Goderich Signal Star in May, 2008)

May the "Thwartz" Be With You

2009-09-05T10:31:00.002-04:00

A friend of mine was recently having “one of those weeks” – you know, one of those weeks where no matter which way she turned she felt like she was being thwarted. If she wanted to “do this”, something got in her way. If she wanted to “do that”, something else stopped her in her tracks. After a few days, she was completely and utterly frustrated!

When this happens, we find ourselves angry at the people who thwarted us. We spend an awful lot of brain-space blaming them for being unfeeling, inconsiderate, and any other adjective that described how that thwart made us feel.

But what if the thwarts were in our best interest? What if they actually made our life better?

How many times have we looked back on things that have happened and realized in hindsight what a blessing it was that it turned out that way? I have had countless experiences that seemed unfair, unfortunate, annoying, frustrating, and maddening at the time. But later, I realized how much better everything turned out than if my preferred path had have worked out.

After a while you start to ask yourself, “What if these blocks are in my path for a reason?” “What if the universe is giving me a hand to steer me on a more interesting path?”

When these questions really start to percolate through our systems, the blocks in our road become a bit more interesting. Instead of just reacting negatively towards them, our thoughts go in other directions. “Am I supposed to dig deep and meet this challenge or is this a nudge in a different direction?”

Each time we face a stone in our path, those are really the questions that we want to ask. And each time it is different.

The cool thing is that it brings us from a place of knee-jerk reactivity to a place of contemplative choice – which is a much more interesting way to face challenges!!

So, the next time that you find yourself being thwarted at every turn, take some advice from the immortal wisdom of Star Wars and… are you ready???....

MAY THE “THWARTZ” BE WITH YOU!

Recieving Posts by Email

2009-08-29T09:34:00.003-04:00

I have recently added the option of "subscribing" so that all new blog postings will be sent automatically to your email. (Originally, I thought that by becoming a follower, this automatically happened. But alas, a different techno-path was required.)

So, if you'd like to have all updates automatically sent to your email, please input your email address into the spot on the main page of the blog and getting updates will be totally automatic.

Thanks,
Katrina

What Is Normal?

2009-08-22T07:31:00.004-04:00

“At that time, my interest in therapy had not awakened,

but the pathological variants of so-called normality

fascinated me.”

Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams & Reflections

The pathological variants of so-called normality!!! Wow! What a mouthful.

Have you ever thought about what it means to be normal?

For many of us, this seems to be an overriding goal in our lives. We want to fit in. We want people to like us. We don’t want to stand out. We don’t want anyone to think that we were weird or different.

But what is this “normal” that we are trying to be like? What is this mould that we are trying to fit into? Is it really something that we want to be striving for? Is being “normal” really a worthy goal for us?

What Carl Jung’s quote really asks us is, “Is there any such thing as normal?”

What if there is no such thing? What if there are so many “variants of so-called normality” that the idea itself is ludicrous?

The idea of “normal” is that there is one particular way to be – that there is some kind of formula to follow so that you can be “like everyone else”. But what if it actually doesn’t exist?

The next time you walk down a street, look at the people around you. Everyone is different. Some are tall and some are short. Some are skinny some are heavy. There are brunettes, blondes, redheads, and everything in between. There are lawyers and doctors and mothers and shop clerks. There are athletes and artists and academics and musicians. There are rich and poor. There are happy people, sad people, angry people, healthy people and sick people.

Can you pick out the one that you would call “normal”? Can you divide the people into normal and not-normal groups? And if there was someone walking with you, would they pick out the same “normal” group as you did? I doubt it.

The reality is that there is no such thing – by design. We aren’t supposed to fit into any mould. We are each supposed to be absolutely and wonderfully unique.

Have you ever really thought about the fact that we each have a unique fingerprint? At the time of this writing, there are over 6.5 billion people on the planet. That means that there are over 6.5 billion absolutely unique fingerprints walking around right now! That’s truly a phenomenal feat of creativity considering the square inch of space that we’re talking about!

This is no accident! As unique as our fingerprints are, so are we. We aren’t supposed to be like anyone else. We aren’t supposed to look or act like anyone but ourselves.

We are each supposed to like different things, have different gifts, have different challenges and want different things out of life. This is how we are designed.

But how often do we compare ourselves to others? Does this even make any sense? Is it even possible to compare us to each other? Or are we constantly comparing apples to oranges? Are the oranges always saying that the apples should be “orangier”? And that the oranges should be “apple-ier”?

In reality, the end result of all comparisons should simply be “YEP. WE’RE DIFFERENT”. That is all that we know. There is no better or worse. There is only different.

How cool is that? Imagine - no more comparisons. No more wishing that we were different. No more feeling better or worse off than anyone else.

What if we didn’t spend another minute criticizing ourselves and wishing we were different or better? What if we spent our life just exploring this bizarre and wonderful creation that is us?

We’d be so busy finding out what makes us tick that we would have to cancel all of those sessions with our counsellors and psychologists. We’d have to throw out all of our self-help books and just live in our minds and bodies!

And what’s even better is that we would stop looking at other people and wishing that they would change. We would stop expecting people to act more like us and think more like us. Each encounter with our spouse, our children, our family and friends would be a gloriously unique encounter with each person truly honouring exactly who the other person was!

Seems impossible, eh? No more judgement of each other. No more gossiping about each other. No more co-dependent relationships where each person has to be like the other in order to get along. Imagine…

So how do we do it?

Start with you. Love who you are. Embrace all of your quirks and follies along with your strengths and passions. Just be you.

I mean, who are you comparing yourself to anyhow?

(This column was first published in the Goderich Signal Star in August 2008)

Introduction to My Blog

2009-08-22T06:43:00.004-04:00

We are living in interesting times.

These are times of great upheaval and of great enlightenment.

We are understanding the world on a different level. We are seeing things differently.

This is a blog about these things.

It is about expanding who we are. It's about living according to our innermost Truths while still having compassion and love for those around us.

It's about manifesting our dreams through intention and listening.

It's about finding fun in life. It's about being completely real.

But mostly, it's about whatever happens to drift through my head these days - might be fun, might be philosophical. You just never know.